This past three weeks have been a blur.
Packing suitcases, throwing everything out & re-organizing suitcases, finding out they are too heavy, throwing everything out & re-organizing again.... then off to Denver... then London... and finally Nairobi. The trip was a bit rough on me (I rolled my ankle two days before our flight from Denver! What luck) but in some ways it was exhilarating. It was fun landing in London, looking like a couple of tourists, asking silly questions and not laughing at any jokes because we are in *serious mode*. My heart fluttered when we boarded the plane to Nairobi, this is it!
We rode a 777, those big planes with screens in the back of the seats. I got to finish Les Mis, and had a little too much fun imagining my own script to the cartoons playing on a certain channel (you listen in by plugging in your headphones to your armrest - I didn't do that for these cartoons. Hence, they were silent). Nairobi landing was smooth, although my heart was racing the whole time! What if something was wrong with our visas? What if we forgot some pertinent information or document? What if we looked too suspicious with our American scowls and messy hair? I felt like a secret agent about to get caught.
We stayed with our team leaders for about 10 days. They are a great family. Internet was limited, so we sent a short email to parents letting us know we arrived and then pulled out our books. It's amazing how much free time you have when you cut internet out of your life. Try it for a week, if you dare! ;)
Yesterday we moved into a guest house on the north end of the city. Our team has taken it easy on us in order to let my ankle heal. This has been a blessing but I am also SO anxious to start. So many years of my life have led up to this trip... I am learning the art of "African timing"... throw away the clock and the calendar, it happens when it happens!
Even though I am excited to begin, I am ready to explore the city, I am nervous but determined to be immersed into the rich culture and life of my surroundings I am also happy to rest. This morning I woke up thinking how our rest is a form of worship
So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. ~ Genesis 2:3
We honor God when we acknowledge our need to rest and embrace it. Sometimes it's easy to do so, sometimes it's not. Obligations, responsibilities, duties, errands... they pile up. We admire people who can get "so much done" in a day. We pursue accomplishments like trophies. That work ethic can be good, but it all depends on where you place it amongst your priorities. Whether you value it above God, yourself, your family, your friends, or the very people you are working for.
All that to say... I am grateful for accomplishments, and I am grateful for rest. I am in awe that God, knowing our need for rest (but our desire to keep accomplishing), made it a command to rest among the Israelites. I can't wait to see how this period of rest fleshes out... and how it catapults me into the next chapter when that time comes.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Hello, Goodbye!
We said "goodbye" to our first home as a married couple on Friday. For me, it was a little over 5 months of bonding with the good ol' Harney household, but Jeff had to bid farewell to his home of 10 years.
I have never been a good packer. As a young twenty-something who has not lived in the same room for more than 3 years at a time (since high school) my mind is always blown when I realize how much stuff I carry along with me. What's worse is that I can't bear to throw any of it away. Somehow every little ridiculous item is directly linked to my survival in the civilized world. Now, I am very much aware of this weakness of perspective, and have made up for this handicap by packing up to four weeks before an estimated departure time. :) It definitely helps.
good memories at our first home
Amidst this packing up, planning, scheduling we have said a lot of goodbyes. Friends and family in El Paso, Laramie, and even here in Douglas have shared well wishes and have expressed hope in our safety & happiness. But... I haven't really dwelt on any of these farewells. Instead, I feel like I am saying a series of "hellos" to all the new experiences I am awaiting. I can't help but hear the Beatles song running through my head as I give long "until next time" hugs, "take care" kisses, and "thanks for everything" handshakes:
I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello...
A week from today we will be on our way to Denver to board a plane to Africa. It has been an incredible journey full of relationships that I cherish and hope to nurture; relationships I would not have otherwise made if I was not working overseas for the next two years.
I can't wait to say hello to all the new challenges, friends, hopes, inspirations, and experiences. I don't think I will be saying goodbye to the old ones either. After all, the more crayons you have, the more ways you can color your world.
I have never been a good packer. As a young twenty-something who has not lived in the same room for more than 3 years at a time (since high school) my mind is always blown when I realize how much stuff I carry along with me. What's worse is that I can't bear to throw any of it away. Somehow every little ridiculous item is directly linked to my survival in the civilized world. Now, I am very much aware of this weakness of perspective, and have made up for this handicap by packing up to four weeks before an estimated departure time. :) It definitely helps.
Amidst this packing up, planning, scheduling we have said a lot of goodbyes. Friends and family in El Paso, Laramie, and even here in Douglas have shared well wishes and have expressed hope in our safety & happiness. But... I haven't really dwelt on any of these farewells. Instead, I feel like I am saying a series of "hellos" to all the new experiences I am awaiting. I can't help but hear the Beatles song running through my head as I give long "until next time" hugs, "take care" kisses, and "thanks for everything" handshakes:
I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello...
A week from today we will be on our way to Denver to board a plane to Africa. It has been an incredible journey full of relationships that I cherish and hope to nurture; relationships I would not have otherwise made if I was not working overseas for the next two years.
I can't wait to say hello to all the new challenges, friends, hopes, inspirations, and experiences. I don't think I will be saying goodbye to the old ones either. After all, the more crayons you have, the more ways you can color your world.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Ordinary Failures
"During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel—and God knew." ~Exodus 2:23-25
This morning's sermon was about God working through the ordinary. The biblical illustration of this truth was the story of Moses, who lived 40 years in the desert as a shepherd when he first saw the burning bush. I didn't know it when the pastor started speaking... but I really needed to hear that sermon.
We are leaving for Africa in about two weeks. We have been packing, collecting papers (birth certificates, transcripts, etc.), visiting family, cleaning. When I wake up and see a mess of suitcases mostly full, random object strewn about still needing to be packed, a list of calls to make, meals to cook, dishes to clean... life feels pretty ordinary. I know in two weeks it will take on new excitement & adventure but today, yesterday, two months ago.... it feels absolutely mundane.
This last week I have felt the exhaustion of ordinary life heavy on my shoulders. I felt bored, emotionally tired, physically achy, spiritually lethargic. Two nights ago I was at my limit. I was in pain, lonely, restless, desperate. I felt ashamed at my own weakness. In the midst of it I thought with desperate tears, "oh God... where are you? Why have you forgotten me???"
Sometimes I forget to realize that God remembers me in my ordinary life with my quiet groans. I am sure the Israelites felt the same: being forgotten by God after generations and generations of slavery. But God doesn't forget his promises. God doesn't lack understanding of our sorrows, whether they be God-sized or not. God recognizes our need for relief, be it from a huge weight we carry or the days/weeks/years of carrying a not-so-huge weight.
Brown recluses are some of the scariest spiders I have ever encountered. The potential damage they leave behind is horrendous. They are about the size of a quarter. If you've never heard about these guys, I dare you to google "brown recluse bite" and check out the images! *caution: it's graphic* Small problems, like the brown recluse, can have a detrimental erosion on our person.
As a person with a driving sense of responsibility (and pride in that drive) it's hard to admit that the little things can wear me down so much. It's doubly hard to beg God for relief when I still think I can carry on a little longer. I feel irresponsible not to work harder, stand firmer, find more strength. But, God knows. That's my favorite part of the Exodus passage at the beginning of this post. He sees.... and He knows. He knows in a deeply intimate way exactly what we feel and think when we are tired, burdened, heavy in our hearts, confused, lost, lonely, frustrated, unhappy.
If you ever come to the point of loneliness and frustration at things that shouldn't have unraveled you the way they did, or maybe if you don't even know why you feel the way you are feeling or think the way you are thinking; I invite you to let God in on it. He sees. He knows.
This morning's sermon was about God working through the ordinary. The biblical illustration of this truth was the story of Moses, who lived 40 years in the desert as a shepherd when he first saw the burning bush. I didn't know it when the pastor started speaking... but I really needed to hear that sermon.
We are leaving for Africa in about two weeks. We have been packing, collecting papers (birth certificates, transcripts, etc.), visiting family, cleaning. When I wake up and see a mess of suitcases mostly full, random object strewn about still needing to be packed, a list of calls to make, meals to cook, dishes to clean... life feels pretty ordinary. I know in two weeks it will take on new excitement & adventure but today, yesterday, two months ago.... it feels absolutely mundane.
This last week I have felt the exhaustion of ordinary life heavy on my shoulders. I felt bored, emotionally tired, physically achy, spiritually lethargic. Two nights ago I was at my limit. I was in pain, lonely, restless, desperate. I felt ashamed at my own weakness. In the midst of it I thought with desperate tears, "oh God... where are you? Why have you forgotten me???"
Sometimes I forget to realize that God remembers me in my ordinary life with my quiet groans. I am sure the Israelites felt the same: being forgotten by God after generations and generations of slavery. But God doesn't forget his promises. God doesn't lack understanding of our sorrows, whether they be God-sized or not. God recognizes our need for relief, be it from a huge weight we carry or the days/weeks/years of carrying a not-so-huge weight.
Brown recluses are some of the scariest spiders I have ever encountered. The potential damage they leave behind is horrendous. They are about the size of a quarter. If you've never heard about these guys, I dare you to google "brown recluse bite" and check out the images! *caution: it's graphic* Small problems, like the brown recluse, can have a detrimental erosion on our person.
As a person with a driving sense of responsibility (and pride in that drive) it's hard to admit that the little things can wear me down so much. It's doubly hard to beg God for relief when I still think I can carry on a little longer. I feel irresponsible not to work harder, stand firmer, find more strength. But, God knows. That's my favorite part of the Exodus passage at the beginning of this post. He sees.... and He knows. He knows in a deeply intimate way exactly what we feel and think when we are tired, burdened, heavy in our hearts, confused, lost, lonely, frustrated, unhappy.
If you ever come to the point of loneliness and frustration at things that shouldn't have unraveled you the way they did, or maybe if you don't even know why you feel the way you are feeling or think the way you are thinking; I invite you to let God in on it. He sees. He knows.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Writer's Block
This is probably not going to be a long post.
The past month-ish I have been experiencing a bad case of... you guessed it... writer's block.
We have had amazing experiences with the churches we have spoken to (and at). We have been blessed in unexpected and BIG ways. We had encouraging, touching interactions with people who were, up until that moment, complete strangers. People have extended the hand of friendship with us. People have shared their own amazing God stories. It's been amazing, incredible, wonderful, refreshing.
I have been wanting to share these experiences. I have been wanting to conjure up the right words to capture my reflections accurately. But I run flat one or two sentences into it.
Up until I began THIS post, it felt like a bad thing that I hadn't written more. Was I ungrateful? Lazy? Unwise? Where did this sudden writer's block come from? Why be silent when there's much to praise God for?
I am very much a task-oriented person, and I feel most satisfied with myself when I am doing constructive things. I consider my work ethic to be a grave responsibility I carry with me. So to NOT be doing something that I feel needs to be done... well, let's just say I carry it around in my mind until it's done. Sort of like a mental constipation.
But maybe... sometimes... we are in a season of listening. Watching. Waiting in silence and allowing ourselves to be recipients of grace. In our hearts we rejoice, but our tongues are stilled at our own blessings from God. Maybe. Sometimes. It's better this way.
Be still, and know that I am God. ~ Psalm 46:10
The past month-ish I have been experiencing a bad case of... you guessed it... writer's block.
We have had amazing experiences with the churches we have spoken to (and at). We have been blessed in unexpected and BIG ways. We had encouraging, touching interactions with people who were, up until that moment, complete strangers. People have extended the hand of friendship with us. People have shared their own amazing God stories. It's been amazing, incredible, wonderful, refreshing.
I have been wanting to share these experiences. I have been wanting to conjure up the right words to capture my reflections accurately. But I run flat one or two sentences into it.
Up until I began THIS post, it felt like a bad thing that I hadn't written more. Was I ungrateful? Lazy? Unwise? Where did this sudden writer's block come from? Why be silent when there's much to praise God for?
I am very much a task-oriented person, and I feel most satisfied with myself when I am doing constructive things. I consider my work ethic to be a grave responsibility I carry with me. So to NOT be doing something that I feel needs to be done... well, let's just say I carry it around in my mind until it's done. Sort of like a mental constipation.
But maybe... sometimes... we are in a season of listening. Watching. Waiting in silence and allowing ourselves to be recipients of grace. In our hearts we rejoice, but our tongues are stilled at our own blessings from God. Maybe. Sometimes. It's better this way.
Be still, and know that I am God. ~ Psalm 46:10
Friday, February 22, 2013
Make you feel my Love
There's a song that always makes me cry. To me it's the story of Jesus, the love of God. I always imagine God singing this to the suffering people of the world, and especially to me when I need His big shoulder to rest my head on. This is one of those moments.
Make you feel my Love
by Adele
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love
Make you feel my Love
by Adele
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Rebelling against a culture of niceness
Do Christians have to be nice?
This is a hard question for me to answer. For several years I would have said yes. Yes, it is mandatory that Christians, at least good Christians, are to be nice. But.... is that biblical?
Really the heart of the question is what "nice" means to you. For me, "nice" meant being pleasant, it meant saying "yes" to someone in need unless you really really REALLY can't do it. It meant giving money to everyone who asked, spending time with everyone who wanted to. It essentially meant bending over backwards for other people.
I have lied in the name of niceness. I have cheated for the sake of niceness. I have done good deeds with a bitter and frustrated spirit in order to achieve my vision of "Christian niceness". I was afraid of what people would think of me if I wasn't nice.
And I never knew I was biblically off-center. Even in Bible school I didn't accept the idea that Christianity and niceness (my idea of it, anyway) did not always go hand-in-hand. But then, how are Christians supposed to behave?
Over and over again, writers in the New Testament emphasize love. Love God. Love your brother. Love your neighbor. Paul sums "love" up beautifully in 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love is patient, kind, humble, forgiving, honest, truthful, and persistent. It is not always nice.
Maybe you ask, as I did, what's the difference between "kindness" and "niceness"?
My best answer, through my experiences with God and with people, is this: kindness is ALWAYS obedient to the will of God. In action, it sees a person through God's eyes, sees the underlying need, and asks God to be used by Him to take part in bringing healing, hope, and satisfaction of that need. Niceness, takes the person or situation into your own hands and attempts to generate a result of happiness or satisfaction. The underlying difference is in motive... are you working without reward, in obedience to God? Or do you expect to see some result of your efforts (however selfless you think those results look like)?
In Matthew 15:21-28, a Caananite woman approaches Jesus asking for healing for her daughter. Jesus' response is not very nice. First, he ignores her. His disciples, annoyed by this woman, prompt Jesus to send her away. Even when the woman gains audience with him he says, "It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs". That's not a very nice thing to say. Bearing in mind that Jesus is Emmanuel (GOD with us), the son of God, the Messiah.... what does that say about this woman? What does it say about God and being Christ-like?
The heart of the matter in this passage is that Jesus came to earth to fulfill Jewish prophecy (and eventually save the world through his sacrifice). God's will for his life and ministry was completely for the Israelites. It was in his death and resurrection that allowed Gentiles like me to approach the throne of God apart from Jewish law. Jesus may have not been nice to this woman, but in his kindness He first submitted himself to God's will (ministering only to Israel) then secondly, seeing that God was in this situation ("Woman, you have great faith!"), allowed God to work in Him to serve her.
I just recently read the Johns (1 John, 2 John, 3 John). The author repeatedly states that anyone who does good is of God. Anyone who walks in light is in the light of God. Anyone who does otherwise.... is apart from God. The source of a Christian's salvation, transformation, and growth is in God. Which means.... unless God is telling you directly to be "nice".... you don't have to be "nice". But you ARE required to love.
So, what's the point of making a distinction?
In short, it's to drive out any fear in our lives. Even passive fears.
It's not to give us license to be jerks, or to hurt people's feelings through "blunt" honesty (a.k.a. rudeness). But personally, as a "nice" Christian, I have struggled with confronting friends with the truth. I have "bit my tongue" about the Bible. I have listened to people insult my beliefs and said nothing in return. I live with just a twinge of fear that people won't like me otherwise. A big enough twinge that it affect my actions on a regular basis. None of these things are Biblical. But they are nice.
Instead of trying to so hard to be nice, what if we let love shine? Which may mean confronting some things or people, being less well-liked, being more humbly aware of the impact of our actions and words on an eternal level. It's quite a few notches harder than just being nice, but I bet it's also a lot more rewarding.
For all you nice introvert Christians out there.... let's quietly rebel against the culture of "Christian niceness"; and rather embrace love and the fearless trust in Jesus that goes with it.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18
This is a hard question for me to answer. For several years I would have said yes. Yes, it is mandatory that Christians, at least good Christians, are to be nice. But.... is that biblical?
Really the heart of the question is what "nice" means to you. For me, "nice" meant being pleasant, it meant saying "yes" to someone in need unless you really really REALLY can't do it. It meant giving money to everyone who asked, spending time with everyone who wanted to. It essentially meant bending over backwards for other people.
I have lied in the name of niceness. I have cheated for the sake of niceness. I have done good deeds with a bitter and frustrated spirit in order to achieve my vision of "Christian niceness". I was afraid of what people would think of me if I wasn't nice.
And I never knew I was biblically off-center. Even in Bible school I didn't accept the idea that Christianity and niceness (my idea of it, anyway) did not always go hand-in-hand. But then, how are Christians supposed to behave?
Over and over again, writers in the New Testament emphasize love. Love God. Love your brother. Love your neighbor. Paul sums "love" up beautifully in 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love is patient, kind, humble, forgiving, honest, truthful, and persistent. It is not always nice.
Maybe you ask, as I did, what's the difference between "kindness" and "niceness"?
My best answer, through my experiences with God and with people, is this: kindness is ALWAYS obedient to the will of God. In action, it sees a person through God's eyes, sees the underlying need, and asks God to be used by Him to take part in bringing healing, hope, and satisfaction of that need. Niceness, takes the person or situation into your own hands and attempts to generate a result of happiness or satisfaction. The underlying difference is in motive... are you working without reward, in obedience to God? Or do you expect to see some result of your efforts (however selfless you think those results look like)?
In Matthew 15:21-28, a Caananite woman approaches Jesus asking for healing for her daughter. Jesus' response is not very nice. First, he ignores her. His disciples, annoyed by this woman, prompt Jesus to send her away. Even when the woman gains audience with him he says, "It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs". That's not a very nice thing to say. Bearing in mind that Jesus is Emmanuel (GOD with us), the son of God, the Messiah.... what does that say about this woman? What does it say about God and being Christ-like?
The heart of the matter in this passage is that Jesus came to earth to fulfill Jewish prophecy (and eventually save the world through his sacrifice). God's will for his life and ministry was completely for the Israelites. It was in his death and resurrection that allowed Gentiles like me to approach the throne of God apart from Jewish law. Jesus may have not been nice to this woman, but in his kindness He first submitted himself to God's will (ministering only to Israel) then secondly, seeing that God was in this situation ("Woman, you have great faith!"), allowed God to work in Him to serve her.
I just recently read the Johns (1 John, 2 John, 3 John). The author repeatedly states that anyone who does good is of God. Anyone who walks in light is in the light of God. Anyone who does otherwise.... is apart from God. The source of a Christian's salvation, transformation, and growth is in God. Which means.... unless God is telling you directly to be "nice".... you don't have to be "nice". But you ARE required to love.
So, what's the point of making a distinction?
In short, it's to drive out any fear in our lives. Even passive fears.
It's not to give us license to be jerks, or to hurt people's feelings through "blunt" honesty (a.k.a. rudeness). But personally, as a "nice" Christian, I have struggled with confronting friends with the truth. I have "bit my tongue" about the Bible. I have listened to people insult my beliefs and said nothing in return. I live with just a twinge of fear that people won't like me otherwise. A big enough twinge that it affect my actions on a regular basis. None of these things are Biblical. But they are nice.
Instead of trying to so hard to be nice, what if we let love shine? Which may mean confronting some things or people, being less well-liked, being more humbly aware of the impact of our actions and words on an eternal level. It's quite a few notches harder than just being nice, but I bet it's also a lot more rewarding.
For all you nice introvert Christians out there.... let's quietly rebel against the culture of "Christian niceness"; and rather embrace love and the fearless trust in Jesus that goes with it.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Celebrating God's Timing
This coming Valentine's Day will mark our first anniversary of being a couple. In February 2011, we hopped on Skype to have our first "date". During this date, Jeff asked me to be his girlfriend.
I wanted to celebrate this milestone with pomp. I researched B&Bs, unique date ideas, gifts, etc. I was excited to create a "getaway" with my honey. This morning, as we were getting ready for church, I suddenly realized that this Valentines Day.... well, it will be during "that time of the month" for me. Suddenly my plans, and ideas on how to romance my sweetie, took on a different light. But I wasn't upset or disappointed or miffed about how that may disorient my celebration of our relationship. I consider every day with my husband a celebration anyways, so what if plans are pushed to another day, week, or year? So what if my ideas will manifest itself into something less glorious when the appropriate time comes?
And then.... I thought about God. All the times I've complained and whined and collapsed in despair because my plans with God were delayed. All the times I thought about giving up on everything because my timeline was stretched, manipulated, broken. All the times I threw my soul up in tantrum because the glory of it was gone.
Compare that to our Africa adventure. Months of stepping out in faith where sometimes the rewards are tangible and sometimes the reward IS the joy of obedience. Months of waiting, hoping, praying, planning....
I have been waiting for this step since I was 18 years old. I am 26 now. After eight years of waiting, hoping, praying, planning.... I am okay with where we are. I am ready to be in Kenya, but I am also rejoicing in every day I have here in the States. I can't help but thank God in utter humility for allowing me to grow from who I was to who I am becoming. To find myself desperately clinging to obedience for the sake of MY life, happiness, and strength.
"... and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ~ Romans 5:5
Today, I am focusing on the discipline of celebrating God's timing. It becomes remarkably easier when I believe wholeheartedly that, whether according to my plans or not, what God has promised He will fulfill. My hope is beyond wishful thinking. It is rooted in the greatest truth I know. So what if it's not today, or according to my plans? When it does happen, it will be exactly when it is supposed to happen. Isn't that the greatest comfort of all?
Stand firm in your faith. Stand firm in God's character and in His promises. And celebrate His timing.
I wanted to celebrate this milestone with pomp. I researched B&Bs, unique date ideas, gifts, etc. I was excited to create a "getaway" with my honey. This morning, as we were getting ready for church, I suddenly realized that this Valentines Day.... well, it will be during "that time of the month" for me. Suddenly my plans, and ideas on how to romance my sweetie, took on a different light. But I wasn't upset or disappointed or miffed about how that may disorient my celebration of our relationship. I consider every day with my husband a celebration anyways, so what if plans are pushed to another day, week, or year? So what if my ideas will manifest itself into something less glorious when the appropriate time comes?
And then.... I thought about God. All the times I've complained and whined and collapsed in despair because my plans with God were delayed. All the times I thought about giving up on everything because my timeline was stretched, manipulated, broken. All the times I threw my soul up in tantrum because the glory of it was gone.
Compare that to our Africa adventure. Months of stepping out in faith where sometimes the rewards are tangible and sometimes the reward IS the joy of obedience. Months of waiting, hoping, praying, planning....
I have been waiting for this step since I was 18 years old. I am 26 now. After eight years of waiting, hoping, praying, planning.... I am okay with where we are. I am ready to be in Kenya, but I am also rejoicing in every day I have here in the States. I can't help but thank God in utter humility for allowing me to grow from who I was to who I am becoming. To find myself desperately clinging to obedience for the sake of MY life, happiness, and strength.
"... and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ~ Romans 5:5
Today, I am focusing on the discipline of celebrating God's timing. It becomes remarkably easier when I believe wholeheartedly that, whether according to my plans or not, what God has promised He will fulfill. My hope is beyond wishful thinking. It is rooted in the greatest truth I know. So what if it's not today, or according to my plans? When it does happen, it will be exactly when it is supposed to happen. Isn't that the greatest comfort of all?
Stand firm in your faith. Stand firm in God's character and in His promises. And celebrate His timing.
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